Tomato Rodriguez is back.

(click image to see larger drawing)
We got a feral kitty and while french kissing her on the sofa last night, she bit the fuck out of my lip and i could see through to china on the other side.

so i've got this tape on my lip to keep the curtains closed, and i can't laugh. i didn't realize how much i laugh, say, in the hours from when she did it last night, to this morning. i'm writing "all witnesses" as my fourth tomato rodriguez book, and am firmly entrenched in the "i suck" mode. but i even giggle in my sucking so badly. despair is funny as hell.

michael j. fox was on oprah with a woman whose body skews to the side and they both agreed vanity is the first thing to go when something goes wrong. so it is with art: you want to be for real. vanity in art is like being tammy faye baker and going to sleep with all that makeup on. nothing less than total operating-table-vulnerability will do.

anyhow, i decided to bring back tomato rodriguez. it feels like running around the world looking for something better, and coming back home without having to explain anything.

thanks some of you for being patient about your orders. four boxes of my things are stranded in the UK. catherine's precious. they're at her house and take up as much space as my apartment.

i have the best supports. and j.cro, yes--art is a collaborative process the way WE do it all together. when you all come to a show, i've learned to have a conversation. not talk AT you all. ever since a bunch of you pre-bought the artist book, i realized how back-and-forth it all was. everything i've done since has been because of the friends and supporters i've made through my art and writings.

it's an invaluable relationship and has inspired me to have a more collaborative model for future business and promotion regarding movies or books or whatever. so many of you have also broken the model of the passive audience. we have a relationship of give and take. it's not always easy, just like any relationship. some of you are patient when the orders take forever. you're patient when i'm not around. you're patient when i flail around and need you all to show up and pat me on the back. many of you have written wonderful letters when i'm face-down-on-the-bed and many of you read my work and give me feedback, or buy just enough stuff to enable me to break even and do it all over again. it's fun and i'm so thankful.

it really does change the focus---for better but sometimes worse in the short term. an artist is supposed to suck up to money to get things made. but sometimes money has different needs than you all, and i do not dance for new money. i dance for you all.

therein lies the problem.

i'll figure a way around.

that's what the new tomato rodriguez book is for. we will kick ass and hold out for the best interest of what we're about. it will take longer, but i'm not going back to the despair of a couple of years ago when girls were dropping like flies. and when you hold out for good and what you believe in, faery tales are real and you are your own knight in shining armour.
i will not let myself down and think i'm getting over. i've manipulated enough in the past to know that the player ALWAYS gets played. and by played by herself. no one had to lift a leg.

so cuidado.

whoever said it's all about the journey is right. i have to get the lunch table cards set up and the separate website before we get published. i want to be able to keep track of you all. i didn't forget. i'm just doing it all on my own here. thanks for being patient. i can only visit people if i fold it up in an errand i've gotta do. i haven't been able to sit and have coffee in a long ass time.

oh, here's a book cover sketch i did for wyman's kid. i love it. it brings me back to drawing my own faery tales and insisting that they exist. growing up didn't change my ability to draw my own reality. it only solidified my resolution to do it all my way!
have a good week or two. i'll be back. i'm just writing on the new book...
(click image for largesse)