this thing has teeth...

i'm planning a new leather jacket for my new life back to my forgotten self and my new self.

it's gonna make my original jacket nothing in comparison.

i'm also reconsidering my rule for holding out for transcendent sex. i realize that's too passive when i see what's out there and what kind of time i have left where i'll even give a fuck about this stuff.

i shall BRING the transcendent sex and make whatever i want TRANSCENDENT.

The Snakefucker woke me up to my ancient old self because it was never too much for him and i kept on going. well, eventually it was too much. it usually will be.

but now that i'm awake and see how much time i've wasted on hating and apologizing for myself,
i'm gonna pick up that piece of chicken i put in the fridge. i thought was me just being slutty.

now i'm gonna pull it back out and not ask any questions... just dance.

i'm not slutty. and if i am, so the fuck what? i'm a goddamn motherfucking sweetheart and i'm gonna go get ready to make my old days new days again.

he's strong, tall, got brown skin and an old timey swagger that comes from deep down inside and from his ancestors. you don't see that much anymore. especially in california where everything's new.

i don't care if we never know each others' last names.

he's big and i can crawl all over him like a tree and make a tree house so we can fuck in it.

i'm realizing that when you try to be honorable, you can't ever fuck anybody. there's always an anvil waiting to crush you. so i'm gonna go back to fucking people not in any of my own worlds. i don't even have secret worlds anymore.

this was it.

even if you knew what i was doing while i was doing it, you can't stop it unless you leave. i tell people what i'm doing all the time and they get car crashes in their heads.


but

you all know mostly everything. gods are always always always in the details, so you can't crash into a wall without the details. it's all just watching at this point unless you know what i'm talking about. some of you do. i know you. (smile)

some of you think this is a swaggery cartoon. and you'd also be right.

all the stories and assumptions are right and none of them are.

i don't even know the real story and never will.

but i do know i'm a fucking pussy. and we're gonna start listening to my own pussy more. she's impatient. foul mouthed. hungry. her teeth are sharp.

but she can kiss like a james brown bass line riff.


don't wait for the magic. bring your own "transcendence" because there's a whole lot of high fructose corn syrup out there.


i'll post art later. i don't want to talk too much anymore. i've gotta focus and keep myself contained for one person. i can't fuck more than one person at a time. i just can't.

i always want the man in my head to match the one in my body or i'm doing this thing wrong.

x